I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
These tits shall not be calmed
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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