I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize