omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
