I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
