That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
