I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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