Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
