This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
