Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
