You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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