the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
