I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
