i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
