Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
