i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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