We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
