oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
