I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
