yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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