i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
