On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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