we have officially lost it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
