Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
love makes seman taste better
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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