i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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