we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
