I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
