I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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