Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
