And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
