all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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