You're so nebulous sometimes
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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