Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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