i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
