I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
