If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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