On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this just has baby written all over it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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