She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
