I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
