Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
