Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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