I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
