I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
