I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
