apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
