Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
