Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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