sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
