why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's never too late to be topless.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
