I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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