Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
40s are totally the cure
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
